my breast surgery
Updated: Aug 13, 2019
I don't think this subject needs an introduction if you're already following me on social media. For those who aren't, here's the tea: 2 months ago I had my breast implants removed - and (for now) replaced with smaller ones.
WHY would I do that and WHY am I sharing this all over the internet and social media? 'Cause I know - and I talked to - so many girls and women who are in the exact situation as I was in. Women who have made the decision to get breast implants in the past and regret it today. I have received a ton of dm's asking how it went and how I feel now. And for me being an 'influencer' (gosh I hate that word, I'm just using it here to prove a point) means sharing my knowledge, my personality, and my experiences, good and bad.
As a teenager and in my early twenties I was stuck with a sad AA/A cup, seeing all my gorgeous friends showing off cleavage, wearing cute bikinis, and feeling confident and sexy. I DID NOT. I felt like a boy. So a little over ten years ago I made the decision to get breast implants. I went to a well known surgeon (in Belgium), who did a great job, and finally made me feel like a woman. I went with 350cc textured implants, on top of the muscle, 'cause I was told that was the best option for my body type. I finally felt confident enough to wear cute tops and dresses, go to the beach, meet boys etc. Five years ago I met my husband Laurens, the love of my life. He's a 'boob guy', so he was happy with the whole cleavage situation. But in the past two years I wasn't anymore.
The initial reason why I decided to remove my implants is the fact that I started to notice in photos how unnatural they looked. Being a blogger I shoot 2-4 times a week, so it's safe to say that it can be very confrontational. Traveling often as well, bikini shots are a big part of the job, and those only made it worse.
Another issue with having a bigger boobs is fitting into clothes. I had a 32C/D - which isn't even that big -and being a size XS that sometimes caused a serious struggle. XS dresses fitted my hips perfectly, but I needed a S/M for my boobs which was too big for the rest of my body. Also bikinis - I was an XS in bottoms and a M in tops. Annoying. Ya feel me?!
I realize these are first worlds problems BUT as my body is a big part of my job this WAS important to me. So I started doing research and doing a couple of consultations with surgeons here in LA.
One of the doctors I saw told me something worrying about the textured implants I had: in the past couple of years The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has identified a possible association between breast implants and the development of breast-implant associated anaplastic large cell lymphoma (BIA-ALCL), an uncommon cancer of the immune system. The FDA believes that women with breast implants that have textured surfaces have a very low but increased risk of developing BIA-ALCL. I'm not gonna go into details but you can read more about one of the studies HERE. It's a VERY LOW risk but a still risk. And cancer being an unfortunate common disease in my family history, that risk was big enough for me to make the final decision to remove these implants.
the new me
I decided to go with Roger Tsai, MD here in West-Hollywood, to remove my old implants. I love his beautiful and natural work, and I immediately trusted him when we met.
Initially I wanted to take my implants out and be completely silicone free. One thing I didn't realize is the fact how much my skin was stretched out over the years, so I would have needed a lift. And that includes scars way worse than breast augmentation scars. And at this point in my life, with my looks being a big part of my career, I wasn't ready for those. I realize how that sounds, and I'm not trying to victimize the situation, but fact is I didn't want more scars.
So Dr. Tsai removed the old textured implants (AND scar tissue/capsule, very important!) and placed smaller (230cc), low-profile, smooth implants underneath the muscle, for an even more natural look. It's been over 2 months now and I'm SO happy. And the results will only get better and look more natural. FYI, these photos were taken 2 weeks post surgery. Hence the tan lines I tried to (unsuccessfully) edit out as I could't get a full spray tan at the time.
My goal today is still being silicone free in a couple of years. Having silicone in your body is a scary thought that weirds me out. It's a strange 'thing' that your body doesn't recognize and sometimes doesn't accept. Breast Implant Illness is real and I have read a lot of testimonials of people going silicone free and instantly feeling better. But that's a whole other subject, atm I don't have any symptoms and I hope it stays this way.
I wanted to share my story 'cause a lot of girls and women get a breast augmentation without thinking of how it will affect their body, mind, and maybe their health. Sometimes without knowing what's being put inside their bodies. I 100% know how it feels being unhappy and insecure because of small breasts. But getting older this became less and less significant to me. At 35 I care more about my health, comfort and wellbeing than having perfect sexy curves.
I hope my story will help/inspire some of you. Opening up about this wasn't easy, and some people/press have definitely made it even harder. But if this helped at least one of you it was SO WORTH IT.